Thursday, November 20, 2014

Waiting for the Proverbial Bus

The past few years of my life have been hard. Hard, but rewarding. I've grown more, learned more, learned more about myself. But in some ways it has also felt like a huge gamble.

Was talking to a friend last night and they referenced a childhood experience they had of riding the bus alone for the first time. There's a certain vulnerability in waiting for the bus if you've never done it before and don't know what you're doing. And she was hit by the realization that she's standing out there at the bus stop alone, waiting for a bus she's never seen to take her on a route she doesn't know. And even just the act of waiting for the bus -the bus that is supposed to come and has been told will come, but she has no concrete proof that it WILL- is an act of vulnerability and adventure all on it's own.

And life is like that. It's not easy. And oftentimes you feel like an idiot standing on the side of the road waiting for a bus you aren't confident will ever come. But the point is that you ARE out there. You are actively waiting for, looking for and expecting your next big adventure. Despite the risks. Despite the fact that the bus may pass you by, or you'll have to watch ten other busses go by before you finally can catch your own. Despite the fact that it may snow, rain, or become unbearably hot. You are standing out there waiting for the bus. Your bus.

So I suppose it all comes down to faith. Now, I'm not necessarily talking about religious faith (though that definitely could be the way people may interpret this in their own belief system), but... Well. Maybe, actually, it's more like hope. Actively hoping. 

All of that rambling to say. I feel like I'm finally actively waiting for my bus. And it's thrilling and terrifying all at the same time.
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