Friday, August 20, 2010

Done. Or trying to be.

I'm done. Done obsessing about my body; done worrying that no one sees the real me because they're too busy sneering; done thinking that I'm the ugliest girl on the block.

This fat girl complex is bullshit.

I have been constantly torn down and am constantly tearing myself down (save them the work, right?) over my weight and my body image and I am just done. It's not that I'm not health conscious. On the contrary, I work out regularly, and I try to eat right. What am I supposed to do? Walk around with a sign hanging off my neck "Yes, I ate my vegetables today, and exercised this week, so get off my back"? This is not a surrender. This is not a non sequitur. This is not me giving up. This is a resolution, an acceptance and a task set out to learn to love myself. I have had too many put downs lately where people only see me as a number on a scale or a dress size instead of the person I've work hard to become.
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