Sunday, August 29, 2010

Boredom

OK, so I really need to get a life. I am so stinking bored! All I ever do is work. I want to have a life. I want to have friends. Where do you find those? Is there somewhere I can find a sale on "a purpose for your life"? Where do I go to find friends? For so long I've depended on school to supply me with my social life and friends and now there are no classes... I have no friends and no life! Ack!

As an aside: I will say that I find it very funny how we can sit in coffee shops for hours on end; all together and yet very disconnected. I've been sitting in the same room with the same people for the past hour and not one of us has spoken to the other. What ever happened to the coffee shop as a gathering house? I guess I've never really experienced that, but really more often brought friends and conversation with me.

And then work friends. Work friends are great, but do they ever really turn into actual friends? Should we want them to?  Shouldn't we try to separate our work from our play?

Blergh. I just want a life.

On a terribly geeky and unrelated note, I'm currently reading "Chariots of the Gods" by Erich von Däniken. Very interesting. It's all about the theory that the ancient wonders of the world (pyramids, Easter Island statues, etc.) were built by aliens. While I'm not saying I necessarily believe it, it is really intriguing and definitely thought-provoking.

Friday, August 20, 2010

Done. Or trying to be.

I'm done. Done obsessing about my body; done worrying that no one sees the real me because they're too busy sneering; done thinking that I'm the ugliest girl on the block.

This fat girl complex is bullshit.

I have been constantly torn down and am constantly tearing myself down (save them the work, right?) over my weight and my body image and I am just done. It's not that I'm not health conscious. On the contrary, I work out regularly, and I try to eat right. What am I supposed to do? Walk around with a sign hanging off my neck "Yes, I ate my vegetables today, and exercised this week, so get off my back"? This is not a surrender. This is not a non sequitur. This is not me giving up. This is a resolution, an acceptance and a task set out to learn to love myself. I have had too many put downs lately where people only see me as a number on a scale or a dress size instead of the person I've work hard to become.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Life Goes On

Oh man. This week has been a doozy. Oh wait - it's only Wednesday! Well, hopefully Thursday and Friday will make up  for the first two days being completely shitty. I'm looking forward to the weekend (yay for fun weekend plans!), but at the same time I feel like I need to psych  myself up for these last couple days.

Being a "grown-up" is great, but it definitely is not a piece of cake. I'm currently trying to teach myself how to separate the different sectors of my life. I need to learn to leave personal issues at home, and leave work at work. Meh, it's a work in progress and I'm sure I'll get there eventually.

Sitting in Starbucks right now, enjoying my day off. I am not a huge Starbucks fan. It started off okay, but now Starbucks has morphed into the wanna-be arena for suburban housewives and business people who are desperately attempting their own brand of urban-chic. And here I sit... mainly because of the free wifi and the free drink coupon I had. It's making me feel entirely too yuppie.  While I do recognize what the company is trying to do, and the good they have done and are doing, I would like to see a different coffee shop on every corner - and not a Starbucks everywhere I turn. Guess I'll have to switch my wi-fi venue before I continue to preach. ;)

Not much else going on, still working; still skating. Feeling really weird not going back to school this semester. I know I've technically been out over a year, but it still feels strange not to have a stack of syllabi and a class list. I am slightly jealous. While it was always a challenge, school definitely gave me a sense of purpose that I'm not really finding in adult-life. It's all a lie, you know. They tell you to work for this piece of paper to help you get that job and then life goes on from there. While my degree probably did help my get my job, I'm not really using it at all and that frustrates me. I love anthropology and that is really what I want/wanted to do with my life. And now I'm pencil-pushing. Oh well! It's just in the meantime, right? One of these days (a few years from now and hopefully not more?) I'll embark on the next great education adventure and get back for that PhD. Here's hoping anyway.

Well, I'm out. Off to find a different coffee shop, a sense of purpose and something to spice up my boring life.

Sunday, August 8, 2010

They're Here!

I know you all are probably sick of hearing about this, but I just can't help myself. Look what I got on Saturday!


So excited. Really. I even got to try them out for the first time today. I cannot believe how different it is from using the crappy rental skates. There really is no comparison whatsoever. The one downside: breaking them in. I will be sporting blistered feet for a while.

Friday, August 6, 2010

!@#)&$*@%

No, I was not just swearing. I just couldn't think of a way to write a title that succinctly indicates the sound that comes to mind at this time on a Friday. It usually starts with a "blah" sound, turns kind of nasal and ends in a whine of hopefulness. See? The other title is so much easier.

End of Friday is fast-approaching and I couldn't be happier. It has been a tough week, but I'm glad I pushed through it. It's been tough, but it's come with it's own rewards.  Work: I finally gave myself my first week in about five weeks without working a stitch of OT. While I haven't been the superstar my bosses would like, I've managed to stay on top of my work and also have a day off.  Wednesday was glorious. I caught up on sleep, went shopping (not so glorious, but necessary), but the apartment clean (it's disorganized again) and made it to derby practice with ten minutes to spare.

And derby... Derby! Ack! I think I'm in love. Really. I almost didn't keep going. After messing up my arm, most likely breaking my tailbone and looking like an ass on skates (choose your interpretation: animal or metaphor), I just sucked it up and kept at it. I've had a number of people over my life emphasize the fact that I am "a quitter" in their eyes (likely only making me MORE of a quitter than before). So it turned into a "screw them, just watch me" and I went back. With a fair amount of trepidation. And aspirin. But... I did it! I made it through the practice. Only fell down once and (AND!!) was even told by a pro-derby girl that I had improved and that I was skating "really well". I've been on Cloud Nine since 10:45pm on Wednesday.  I did come out a little worse for wear, but staying iced up and still very happy.

Now for the weekend... Going to see Wizard of Oz tonight and then off to the west side to buy my skates tomorrow. After skate-shopping (and a significant wallet-lightening), headed off to take Nonna out to see Adam's Rib. Saturday night, giving the skates a whirl and hopefully not breaking my neck, and then family dinner on Sunday. Whew. Full weekend. But it should be good. :)


 I will try to post pictures of the skates if I'm able to pick them up this weekend. :)