Monday, August 24, 2009

Doubting Thomas

Ok, so as soon as I say something about the dangers of people including too many quotes in their posts, I want to start posting song lyrics and poetry. This crow sandwich is a little dry. On to the real post:
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I have been a long-time Nickel Creek fan, but in recent years I have moved into other genres and artists to captivate my musical attention. However, in the past week or so, I have returned to the tried and true and have found a lyrical honesty that I never 'got' before while listening to their music. Their last album, "Why Should the Fire Die?", is probably my favorite of their works -as it is probably their most progressive and complex album. The songs range from wistful, sweet ("First and Last Waltz") to a new take on bittersweet ("Helena"), to the incredible musicality we'd come to expect from the trio ("Scotch & Chocolate") and more.

The one song that really takes the cake for me, however, is "Doubting Thomas". Written by Chris Thile (already a favorite of mine, both with Nickel Creek and as a solo artist), the song centers around lyrical themes of religious doubt, wanting to do "the right thing" but not knowing what it is, and not wanting to unintentionally lead others astray from the truth. It is a simple melody, with simple harmonies, accompanied by no-frills honesty. With all my doubts and questions, I sometimes feel that I don't fit in the Christian circles where people seem so sure or they have all the trite Sunday School answers. I know it's not the best place to be in the world, but I would rather be honest about my doubt than put on a happy face and sing words that I don't really mean.
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What will be left when I've drawn my last breath
Besides the folks I've met and the folks who've known me?
Will I discover a soul-saving love
Or just the dirt above and below me?

I'm a doubting Thomas
I took a promise
But I do not feel safe
Oh me of little faith

Sometimes I pray for a slap in the face
Then I beg to be spared 'cause I'm a coward
If there's a master of death
I bet he's holding his breath
As I show the blind and tell the deaf about his power

Can I be used to help others find truth
When I'm scared I'll find proof that it's a lie?
Can I be led down a trail dropping bread crumbs
That prove I'm not ready to die?

Please give me time to decipher the signs
Please forgive me for time that I've wasted

I'm a doubting Thomas
I'll take your promise
Though I know nothing's safe
Oh me of little faith
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