Have you ever been confronted by situations that appear to have no answer (and most likely do not have answers), but demand your attention just the same? I want to know, is this correct or not? Do I believe this or that? But the world is full of grey.
I wish this had presented itself at the beginning of the break so I could dive into a mountain of books and find some resolution before the semester begins. But as I go back on Monday and already have assignments to work on, it doesn't appear that is likely to happen I'm stuck in this liminal state, almost finished (with school, a stage of life, etc.), but at the same time still very much in the process.
I wish the world was black and white and that it came with directional arrows. But it's not. I know there are those that argue my/their religion provides the directional arrows, but does it really? It provides basic outlines, but it does not say "You shall go to this city and work at this location to save up to go to this school and receive this degree." No, it doesn't even provide a general location. I'm sure there are some who would argue with me, but I have come to find more and more that 'guidance' is less in the form of a 4x4 to the head and more along the lines of a whispered, general suggestion. How I wish I could receive a message via a whack of a divine length of white pine.
I know you all will have your own interpretations of what this post means, and you're more than welcome to harass, cajole or whine to me via the comments section on my blindness or unnecessary anxiety, etc., etc. Most likely however, I will not respond as this is more of a necessary outlet for the inner workings of my mind than a cry for help, direction or ridicule.